Realizations and Frustrations
by parachutes42
Summary: BXE, Short Story: Bella Swan is a mess. Her best friend, and secret love, Edward just got into a car accident, and instead of being relieved that he's okay, she's furious at him for putting himself in danger. What's a girl to do?


**Disclaimer: Characters belong to Stephanie Meyer of course!**

**AN: Check out the note at the end readers! Oh, and by the way, I just want to thank all those who reviewed my last story and even put me on their alert list! Thank you very much! It means a lot!**

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**Chapter One: Realization and Frustration  
BPOV**

"Where is he?! What happened? Is he alright?!"

Those are the words that I just about yelled to everyone when I entered the waiting room at the hospital. My best girl-friend Alice, who was leaning against her boyfriend Jasper, looked up at me from her seat and reassured me.

"He's fine Bella...he's got a minor concussion and some bruised ribs but no life-threatening injuries," she said.

I sank down in a nearby chair and put my head in my hands. I realized I was crying when I felt moisture on my hands. I felt someone's hands rubbing my back and I immediately lifted my head to the side to see Esme giving me a tired but relieved smile.

"Oh! I'm so sorry Esme...here I am causing a scene and I haven't even asked how you're doing," I said with guilt marring my features.

"You are most definitely _not_ causing a scene dear," she said, in her naturally, soft voice. "After all, I was doing the same thing not 10 minutes ago."

I gave her a watery smile and a hug. No one said much after that, everyone, including Emmett and Rose, just sat in silence waiting for Dr. Cullen to appear.

For some reason, I wasn't totally at ease, even with knowing that my best friend Edward was safe after all. Maybe it was because I hadn't seen him with my own eyes yet. Maybe it was because he was so lucky with his injuries. Or...maybe it was because I was wondering why I felt like I wouldn't survive if Edward was seriously injured or close to death.

Edward Cullen is, and has been, my best friend since we were in the 5th grade. He, his twin sister Alice, and his big brother Emmett had moved to Forks, Washington with their good looking, kind, not to mention wealthy, parents at the beginning of that school year. Edward, Alice and I were all in the same class and we just gravitated towards each other.

I guess you could say the rest was history.

We became a tight knit group that included Emmett and two other kids his age, who just happen to be Jasper and Rosalie Hale. Up until high school, we were just a big group of friends, no questions asked. But as time went on, our little group started dividing into pairs. Alice and Jasper, Rose and Emmett, and of course, Edward and I.

The reason for the pairs? Let's just blame it on teenage hormones shall we?

Alice and Jasper were the first two to get together romantically in the 9th grade, and then Rosalie and Emmett during their sophomore year. They were both dynamic couples. Both ridiculously good-looking, and both extremely social.

Then there was Edward and I.

Edward was of course, like his siblings...extremely good looking with messy bronze hair and striking, bottle green eyes. He was tall at 6'3, had a lean build, and an unforgettable golden boy smile that made any girl within the vicinity melt like chocolate ice-cream on a hot, summer day. Me on the other hand...well I was a bit different from my group of friends. I wasn't as outgoing or social, and I was nowhere near as attractive as the Cullens and Hales. I was...am...petite, with long brown hair and brown eyes to match. Nothing too remarkable you see?

Edward and I weren't a couple. I could laugh and cry at the same time whenever I repeat that statement in my mind. Laugh because it was amusing to think that Edward would _ever_ look at me as a potential girlfriend, and cry because....well...because of the same reason.

I knew I liked Edward Cullen and I even realized that I dreamt about him. What I failed tonotice was how _much_ I actually liked him. I realized that I probably loved him when I got the call from Rose half an hour earlier, telling me that he'd got into a car accident.

It was a moment of dread and clarity for me. Dread for obvious reasons, and clarity because I felt as if my breath had been stolen and I couldn't get any air. All that was running through my mind was, _please God no. Not Edward...not him._

As I sat waiting in the hospital, I knew in the back of my mind, how Edward had gotten into the accident. Last year, he somehow got interested in street racing. Stupid...I know. I've lost count of how many times I told him that he'd get hurt. I remember fear striking my mind every time he mentioned that he had a new person to race, a new person to beat.

Yes, it scared me...and annoyed me. Apparently street racing is a babe magnet. Edward was already so attractive, but the racing seemed to bring in even more girls than he already had. There was always some pretty girl hanging off Edward's arm, girls that seemed content with the fact that he diligently paid them minimal attention. To Edward, it was just something to pass time with...something he could easily have. Beautiful girls...girls who didn't look a thing like me.

Of course, those girls eventually scrammed after a while because he liked to spend time with me over them. That fact didn't make me internally squeal like a little girl _at all._

Anyways, I knew with no doubt that the racing had finally caused Edward to have injuries that required the hospital. I'd _told_ him this would happen...and it did.

"Hello everyone," I heard a smooth, familiar voice say.

Dr. Cullen, Edward's father, was here.

"You can go see him now, he's a bit dazed because of the concussion and has a few minor injuries, but it's nothing that a few weeks rest won't cure," he said.

Relief was palpable in the air as everyone got to their feet and started towards Edward's room. I hastily wiped my tears on my sweater sleeve, feeling as if they gave away my secret.

I was last to enter the room, but I could already hear Edward's low, attractive voice.

"I'm fine mom. See? Nothing too bad," he said as he lifted his arm which was covered in a few bruises and scratches.

He was in a hospital gown, lying on the bed, with a white bandage above his left eyebrow and a cast on his right hand pinkie. He managed to still look wildly attractive, even after a car accident.

"You scared us half to death son, you need to stop this stupid game of racing!" Esme said, her eyes fierce.

"What the hell were you thinking Edward? Do you have a death wish?" Rose said. Sometimes she came off as cold and blunt, but we all knew that she cared deeply for Edward as if he were her brother.

"I know, I know...it was idiotic...I won't do it again. I promise."

When he said, _I promise_, he looked straight at me.

It was then that my anger reared its ugly head.

I don't know if it was because I actually saw him in front of me, or it was because he'd only decided to stop racing _after_ he'd gotten hurt.

How many times had I told him that he'd get injured? How many times did I tell him that it scared me when he raced? How many times had I said, _please Edward, sooner or later this won't end well..._

Every time, he'd give me his smile and a, "don't worry so much Bella...I'm just having a good time, nothing will go wrong." And he'd give me a giant hug that I revelled in until he left to go in his damn car.

This race could have easily been his last time _ever _getting in a car_._ Period.

Edward must have noticed the sudden hostility projecting through my eyes, and to be honest, I think he was expecting it.

"Bella –" he started, with distressed eyes.

I didn't let him finish though, because I simply turned around and walked directly out of the room.

**AN: Hey guys! LONG time no see! My only excuse would be that I'm extremely lazy...and I apologize for that...but I'm back! This short story wasn't originally what I wanted to post next but, I thought hey, why not? I have a whole bunch of ideas swarming through my head at the moment. I'm thinking my next story will have some supernatural in it...and it might be a longer story as well! Anyways, next chapter will be up soon! REVIEW PLEAAAAAASE!**


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